Beautiful! This presented a whole new perspective for me. I have been feeling this a lot in the last few years, but didnt realize it - or didnt know how to describe it.
Stuck in a space between who I once was (which is who I yearn for today), and who I want to become - not able to understand exactly how to get there. Fighting depression, getting tangled in that loop of "I feel bad. And I feel bad for feeling bad... so now I feel worse"
The "not knowing" has always irked me. Even as a kid, not knowing why or how something worked frustrated me. Now, as an adult, the thing I dont know about is myself and its... difficult to accept. Difficult to incite change.
Thank you for this new outlook. I think this really helped me :)
the way you described the loop that a lot of us get stuck in was so beautifully worded, i relate to that so much. so happy to be able to offer any form of new light on this! thank you for such a lovely comment and for reading this with such intention <33 :))
I recently walked away from a 20 year marriage which was devastating for my husband, my family, and even me. Especially me, because I could not really explain the why of it. What you have written here so beautifully articulates the complexity of the feelings that lead me to that decision. I'm not crazy, I'm just human. I had a socially prescribed life but one day the comfort and security of it suddenly felt terrifying. The thought that this was all I could expect for the rest of my life caused a deep panic. Now my days are a blank canvas of hope and possibility peppered with sharp moments of gnawing doubt and regret. Knowing that I am not alone in feeling this elusive yet powerful desire for transformation and self growth is reassuring. Thank you for sharing this. Namaste.
sometimes the why comes after the doing, that’s okay. and like you said, a very human thing, we aren’t machines and not everything follows the perfect plan or unfolding <3 thank you for taking the time to read this piece with such intention i’m so happy it found its way to you ! x
""""sometimes not knowing what more means, feels like you’re standing in a fog, the path ahead blurred, the weight of expectation pressing down. you might feel restless and empty, but also scared, lonely, or even ashamed for not having it all figured out. society tells us we should have a plan, a clear direction, a destination mapped out by now. so when your hunger is vague, undefined, it can feel like failure. as if there is something wrong with you.
but this fog, this not-knowing, is a place where impatience and hope collide, where the pain of uncertainty meets the possibility of newness.""""
You got me here reeaalllyyy well damn your write soo good
love your take on gratitude and desire. we often think of them as competing forces, but you show how they can coexist and even support each other. ❤️❤️
I have been feeling this so strongly, your article here is something I will read everyday to remind myself that I am not lost. The emptiness is coming from something and has a meaning. Thank you for putting this in such a beautiful perspective.
This is the first substack article I read ever since I downloaded it. And this being my first read, makes me feel so understood as it explained my situation right now.
I guess one of the reason I keep on putting this app off as I did to the things I used to love was because I felt empty. And I indulge myself in it - doing nothing to get out of the loop and dwell on the what ifs and maybes. I despise what I was doing, knowing its consequences, wanting more, but doing nothing. I was delving deeper to the void I set myself into -- and I am feeling the dread.
Yet this article gives me a new perspective about my situation. So I really want to thank you for sharing this. This really helped me see this emptiness I have been feeling in a positive way:)))
i’m so so grateful that you took the time to read this piece let alone leave such a thoughtful and beautiful comment, truly wishing you all the best for this chapter of your life!!
Wooow, I have never been stripped naked by words like this, innocently vulnerable and held with so much softness and wisdom in a very untouchable understanding.
Thank you. I shall be reading this every few days ❤
This captures so well the biology behind that restless “in-between.” Dopamine isn’t about the reward, it’s about possibility → the signal that we’re meant to keep moving. That’s why the fog feels both painful and alive. What looks like dissatisfaction is often just your brain reminding you you’re still becoming. Loved it
Beautiful! This presented a whole new perspective for me. I have been feeling this a lot in the last few years, but didnt realize it - or didnt know how to describe it.
Stuck in a space between who I once was (which is who I yearn for today), and who I want to become - not able to understand exactly how to get there. Fighting depression, getting tangled in that loop of "I feel bad. And I feel bad for feeling bad... so now I feel worse"
The "not knowing" has always irked me. Even as a kid, not knowing why or how something worked frustrated me. Now, as an adult, the thing I dont know about is myself and its... difficult to accept. Difficult to incite change.
Thank you for this new outlook. I think this really helped me :)
the way you described the loop that a lot of us get stuck in was so beautifully worded, i relate to that so much. so happy to be able to offer any form of new light on this! thank you for such a lovely comment and for reading this with such intention <33 :))
I recently walked away from a 20 year marriage which was devastating for my husband, my family, and even me. Especially me, because I could not really explain the why of it. What you have written here so beautifully articulates the complexity of the feelings that lead me to that decision. I'm not crazy, I'm just human. I had a socially prescribed life but one day the comfort and security of it suddenly felt terrifying. The thought that this was all I could expect for the rest of my life caused a deep panic. Now my days are a blank canvas of hope and possibility peppered with sharp moments of gnawing doubt and regret. Knowing that I am not alone in feeling this elusive yet powerful desire for transformation and self growth is reassuring. Thank you for sharing this. Namaste.
sometimes the why comes after the doing, that’s okay. and like you said, a very human thing, we aren’t machines and not everything follows the perfect plan or unfolding <3 thank you for taking the time to read this piece with such intention i’m so happy it found its way to you ! x
There’s a quiet reverence in the way you’ve named this ache, not as pathology, but as a threshold.
It’s rare to see the in-between honored like this: the fog, the hunger, the not-this.
This isn’t confusion. It’s emergence.
And sometimes the clearest act of self-loyalty is to whisper not yet… and keep walking.
<3
These words were like a balm to the soul. You’ve given shape to many of the swirling thoughts in my head. So beautiful.
a balm to the soul???? oh my gosh thank you <333
My comment got posted too soon…
Yes a multilayered reflection which was a joy to read. Thanks for sharing this.
thank you so much angel <3
I didn't know that I needed this until I read it. This is fantastic 🪞🌸
🫶🏼🫶🏼
""""sometimes not knowing what more means, feels like you’re standing in a fog, the path ahead blurred, the weight of expectation pressing down. you might feel restless and empty, but also scared, lonely, or even ashamed for not having it all figured out. society tells us we should have a plan, a clear direction, a destination mapped out by now. so when your hunger is vague, undefined, it can feel like failure. as if there is something wrong with you.
but this fog, this not-knowing, is a place where impatience and hope collide, where the pain of uncertainty meets the possibility of newness.""""
You got me here reeaalllyyy well damn your write soo good
ahhh thank you angel <33!!
love your take on gratitude and desire. we often think of them as competing forces, but you show how they can coexist and even support each other. ❤️❤️
🫶🏼 🫶🏼!!
I have been feeling this so strongly, your article here is something I will read everyday to remind myself that I am not lost. The emptiness is coming from something and has a meaning. Thank you for putting this in such a beautiful perspective.
thank you for reading this piece with such care <3!
This is profound. What a philosophy. I have been reading J krishnamurti for 20 years. But you are something beyond comprehension. Kudos
oh wow thank you!!
Thank you for this
<3
This is the first substack article I read ever since I downloaded it. And this being my first read, makes me feel so understood as it explained my situation right now.
I guess one of the reason I keep on putting this app off as I did to the things I used to love was because I felt empty. And I indulge myself in it - doing nothing to get out of the loop and dwell on the what ifs and maybes. I despise what I was doing, knowing its consequences, wanting more, but doing nothing. I was delving deeper to the void I set myself into -- and I am feeling the dread.
Yet this article gives me a new perspective about my situation. So I really want to thank you for sharing this. This really helped me see this emptiness I have been feeling in a positive way:)))
i’m so so grateful that you took the time to read this piece let alone leave such a thoughtful and beautiful comment, truly wishing you all the best for this chapter of your life!!
Wooow, I have never been stripped naked by words like this, innocently vulnerable and held with so much softness and wisdom in a very untouchable understanding.
Thank you. I shall be reading this every few days ❤
🫴🏾
Love it!! ✨⚡️
This captures so well the biology behind that restless “in-between.” Dopamine isn’t about the reward, it’s about possibility → the signal that we’re meant to keep moving. That’s why the fog feels both painful and alive. What looks like dissatisfaction is often just your brain reminding you you’re still becoming. Loved it