this put everything ive learnt in the past 2 months into one post—at the end of the day, no one really cares as much as you think and honestly, it's a-okay! loved this post sm
sounds so simple but is oh so hard to implement in reality, for me anyways, took alot of trying and a lot of failing at it, thank you so so much for the lovely comment and for reading this piece with such intention <33 !
she definitely played a part in popularising the term for sure!! i haven’t come across her work but did a quick search and the information she talks about is very beautifully put! but the concept of accepting what’s outside your control is something i first came across through reading about stoic philosophers like epictetus and marcus aurelius.
i’ve also found julian b. rotter’s studies on locus of control really fascinating, basically how people understand whether they control their own outcomes or if things are controlled by outside forces. although overall this way of navigating life is something i’ve mostly learned and began to implement through mindfulness and therapy work like acceptance and commitment therapy (act).
i think it’s great that mel robbins helped popularise the idea in a way that’s easy to digest and reach a wider audience, especially since it’s such helpful, sometimes life-changing information! :) at the same time, it’s important to keep in mind the bigger picture, most self-help and self-healing ideas have been around for a long time, just circling back in different forms and shapes <3
oo such a intriguing question, personally i feel that free will and determinism aren’t opposites but instead are both part of a dynamic interplay. our brains and bodies are shaped by biology, history, and habit, but i think that within that, awareness creates cracks where choice can emerge. so in that case free will is less about total control and more about presence, the ability to notice patterns, pause, and with kindness, rewrite the story. its an imperfect but beautiful tension between what’s given and what we can become. (and i’ll definitely be writing an essay on this to explore further!!)
And to anyone reading this, this includes your family, your parents, your friends. The hardest thing to notice with this behavior is accepting that even the closest people to you are also contributing to your exhaustion.
Sometimes it hurts you more than them, I still think about the friends that have fallen away, especially on my lonely days. But I always go back to how it goes both ways. Reaching out, acceptance, understanding.
Alright I absolutely loved how you discussed this. I’ve been trying to apply the “let them” theory in my life for a dying friendship, some familial relationships and it’s so tough. I really appreciated how you went about it and your writing is stunning. So many quotes to restack with so little time
I've heard about the "Let Them" theory before, but this personal spin of it really hits home for me. Every example you gave, oh my, I resonate with everything. It is so painful to integrate this into my life, but I will, for my own sanity. I'll have to come back and read this a dozen more times.
i’m so happy i was able to give at least a small fresh lens on it, it’s something i’ve come across so many times in my life in different forms, therapy, philosophy, psychology, each time it cements itself more into my day to day and each time i find myself applying it in different ways!! thank YOU for reading this post !! <3
I just finished Mel Robbins “The Let Them Theory” and it was amazing! Lots of insight and hard truths to face, enlightening and challenging my own beliefs.
ooo! hopefully i get round to reading her book soon i get too excited buying books without finishing the one i’m reading haha, if you are interested or haven’t come across them yet, i think you’d epictetus’s enchiridion and discourses, and marcus aurelius’s meditations really interesting !! i think that was the first or if not one of the first exposures i had to this mindset :)) <3!
I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS PEACE. REMIND. ME. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. This couldn't have come at a better time. Honestly crying over how much I resonated with the statements T_T Thank you so much for this.
i love this and needed to hear it so desperately just today. perfect timing thank u thank u thank u<3
ahh thank you so much angel <33!
Thank you. This came at the exact time I needed it.
:))) <3! so happy to hear !
Same
this put everything ive learnt in the past 2 months into one post—at the end of the day, no one really cares as much as you think and honestly, it's a-okay! loved this post sm
sounds so simple but is oh so hard to implement in reality, for me anyways, took alot of trying and a lot of failing at it, thank you so so much for the lovely comment and for reading this piece with such intention <33 !
We gotta give Mel Robbins her flowers for giving us this theory☺️💐
she definitely played a part in popularising the term for sure!! i haven’t come across her work but did a quick search and the information she talks about is very beautifully put! but the concept of accepting what’s outside your control is something i first came across through reading about stoic philosophers like epictetus and marcus aurelius.
i’ve also found julian b. rotter’s studies on locus of control really fascinating, basically how people understand whether they control their own outcomes or if things are controlled by outside forces. although overall this way of navigating life is something i’ve mostly learned and began to implement through mindfulness and therapy work like acceptance and commitment therapy (act).
i think it’s great that mel robbins helped popularise the idea in a way that’s easy to digest and reach a wider audience, especially since it’s such helpful, sometimes life-changing information! :) at the same time, it’s important to keep in mind the bigger picture, most self-help and self-healing ideas have been around for a long time, just circling back in different forms and shapes <3
what are your thoughts on free will vs determinism? i’ve never been able to reconcile an internal locus of control with a deterministic worldview
oo such a intriguing question, personally i feel that free will and determinism aren’t opposites but instead are both part of a dynamic interplay. our brains and bodies are shaped by biology, history, and habit, but i think that within that, awareness creates cracks where choice can emerge. so in that case free will is less about total control and more about presence, the ability to notice patterns, pause, and with kindness, rewrite the story. its an imperfect but beautiful tension between what’s given and what we can become. (and i’ll definitely be writing an essay on this to explore further!!)
I'm trying 😔
But it's really easy to forget the bad when it's good again
please don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re trying and that counts for a lot! <33
I will leave this comment here so that I come back each day to remind my mind that I need to let them!
<3!!
And to anyone reading this, this includes your family, your parents, your friends. The hardest thing to notice with this behavior is accepting that even the closest people to you are also contributing to your exhaustion.
Sometimes it hurts you more than them, I still think about the friends that have fallen away, especially on my lonely days. But I always go back to how it goes both ways. Reaching out, acceptance, understanding.
yes yes yes !
Alright I absolutely loved how you discussed this. I’ve been trying to apply the “let them” theory in my life for a dying friendship, some familial relationships and it’s so tough. I really appreciated how you went about it and your writing is stunning. So many quotes to restack with so little time
ahhh thank you so so much maddie! <3!
I've heard about the "Let Them" theory before, but this personal spin of it really hits home for me. Every example you gave, oh my, I resonate with everything. It is so painful to integrate this into my life, but I will, for my own sanity. I'll have to come back and read this a dozen more times.
I thank you, with all my heart.
i’m so happy i was able to give at least a small fresh lens on it, it’s something i’ve come across so many times in my life in different forms, therapy, philosophy, psychology, each time it cements itself more into my day to day and each time i find myself applying it in different ways!! thank YOU for reading this post !! <3
it's not a coincidence, it's fate to found this, thank you so much!
:))<3
I love this but it’s still okay if the f word slips from my lips right
I just finished Mel Robbins “The Let Them Theory” and it was amazing! Lots of insight and hard truths to face, enlightening and challenging my own beliefs.
ooo! hopefully i get round to reading her book soon i get too excited buying books without finishing the one i’m reading haha, if you are interested or haven’t come across them yet, i think you’d epictetus’s enchiridion and discourses, and marcus aurelius’s meditations really interesting !! i think that was the first or if not one of the first exposures i had to this mindset :)) <3!
I believe in this so deeply that I had it tattooed in me...thank you for the refresher!!
ahh!! <3
I needed this so bad.. i was looking for something to read related to my current problem. Thank you!
ahh happy it found you!! <3
I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS PEACE. REMIND. ME. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. This couldn't have come at a better time. Honestly crying over how much I resonated with the statements T_T Thank you so much for this.
ahhhh thank you thank you so much for leaving this comment i’m so grateful it could reach you like this <33 !!
This came at the right time. Just at the right time 🥹
<3